


how'd we get in this position?

by perksofbeingabooknerd



Category: Lovely Little Losers, Nothing Much to Do
Genre: F/M, Pining, So much angst, confused feelings, much sexual tension, oh no, so much pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 01:01:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6731419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perksofbeingabooknerd/pseuds/perksofbeingabooknerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hero's been keeping her feelings for John to herself, but the truth always has a way of coming out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	how'd we get in this position?

**Author's Note:**

> believe it or not, this was inspired by a scene from the movie "the night before". enjoy
> 
> set during their uni years, ft. bisexual hero!
> 
> title is a lyric from carly rae jepsen's "i really like you"

Too much, too much, it was all too much. Hero had to get some air.

She stepped out into the cold night, sucking in deep breaths. She thought she could handle this party, she really did. But her tolerance for self-inflicted torture ended when she watched other girls kissing him and touching him. That, she couldn’t take.

“Hero!” She heard his voice behind her, deep and rich and lovely and _familiar_. She sighed, already dreading the inevitable confrontation.

“Hero?”

She steeled herself and turned around, a pleasant smile on her face. “Yeah?”

He stood in front of her, panting. Had he run all the way here?

“I,” John gulped and quickly tore off his beanie. “I just came to-to check on you. Are you okay?”

Hero nodded, wishing that would be the end of it and he would leave her to pine in peace. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Because you’ve been acting weird lately, and-and you can tell me if something’s wrong.”

Dammit, why did he have to be thoughtful and supportive? It would be so much easier to get rid of her awful crush if he acted like every other oblivious college boy. But no, he was John. And he wasn’t about to change any time soon.

“John, I’m okay. Really. Go back to the party.”

He studied her for a moment longer. Hero had no idea what he was thinking. She hated that his gaze turned her cheeks pink and made her heart beat faster. She hated that he had this effect on her. If it was up to her, none of these feelings would exist, they would remain good and platonic friends, and everything would be normal.

“Hero.”

“Y-yes?” Her heart was in her throat. Did he know?

“I know you. I know when something’s bothering you. And we made a pact to be honest with each other. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”

“Wanna bet?” Hero blurted out. Dammit. Now he wasn’t going to let it go. _Nice job, Hero._

John looked at her sympathetically. “Is it your family? Your grades? Is it Leo? Is he okay? Did the cancer come back?”

Hero touched his arm, cutting him off. “No, no. Nothing like that. Leo’s fine.”

He took a deep breath, running a hand through his messy hair. She wished he wouldn’t do that. It wasn’t making him any less attractive in her eyes.

“Then what is it, Hero? I’m your friend. I want to be there for you.”

Hero let go of his arm and tipped her head back to look at the sky. It was always a welcome sight. All the stars comforted her, and reminded her that they were there. They’d always been there, and they always would be, even in a hundred years. They were a constant for her, just like John was. She couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t lose him. But he wasn’t going to let it go, and she was a terrible liar.

She smiled at him. “It’s nothing. Just-I have a crush on someone, that’s all.”

His eyes crinkled into a smile. “Well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

Hero ducked her head, shuffling her feet. “Y-yeah, it is.”

“Then what’s the problem? Does he or she like you back?”

She was still afraid to look at him. If she looked at him, he would figure everything out right now and he would look at her in shock and he would walk away. “I don’t know. But it’s alright, really.”

Another lie.

John grasped her shoulders, causing her heart to skip a beat. His dark blue eyes bored into her. “Is that why you’ve been acting so weird?”

Her head snapped back up to meet his gaze. “I haven’t been acting weird,” she said automatically.

John cocked an eyebrow at her. “Really? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me for the past week?”

“I’ve been busy.”

“I know. We both have. But you haven’t said a word to me all night. What gives?”

Hero swallowed. He was going to find out. He was going to wrench it out of her, and things between them would never be the same.

“You like someone, but you won’t tell me who. Were they at the party? Do I know them? I can have a word with them and tell them to get their head out of their ass and start noticing you. Just say the word. I’ll do it.”

Hero laughed and shook her head. He was so, so lovely and she was fucked. “That’s not necessary, John. But thank you.”

“So who is it? Don’t leave me hanging, Hero.” He looked at her, so hopeful. Hero could feel her defenses crumbling. She swallowed again, searching for the right words. She wished her face wasn’t so hot.

“Yes, he was at the party.”

“Okay, so it’s a guy! I know him?”

“Technically, yes.”

She watched his smile turn into a frown.

“What do you mean, technically? Why is your face all red?”

Hero looked away. She felt his hands drop from her shoulders.

“Hero?” John stepped even closer to her, peering down at her face. Hero was sure he could hear the thundering of her heart.

He deliberated for a moment, then hesitantly laid a hand on her chest. Right over her heart. Fucking perfect. It was all she could do to control her breathing.

“Hero, why is your heart beating so fast?” John whispered.

It was quiet, so quiet, except for the sounds of their breathing and John’s soft “Oh” of realization. Hero’s heart sank.

He didn’t move his hand. “Do you have feelings for me?”

The only answer was the pounding of her heart under his hand. He knew.

John took a step back, not looking at her. Hero searched his face, unable to read his expression. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

“How long?”

Hero found her voice. “I don’t know. A while, I guess.”

He met her gaze again. “You like me?”

“Yeah.”

“As more than friends?”

“Yeah.”

They stared at each other a few moments too long.

“Say something,” Hero blurted out.

John sighed, shaking his head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Hero frowned. “Why do you think? We’re friends, really good friends. I-I didn’t want to mess that up.”

He growled in frustration, pacing. “Do you really think we would stop being friends because of this?”

Hero threw up her hands. “I don’t know, John.”

He stopped and looked at her. “Besides, you haven’t even asked about me.”

“What?”

“You haven’t asked how I feel about you.”

“How do you feel about me?” Hero asked warily.

“I’m not…sure.”

She scoffed. “Great. That’s great. Thanks, John.”

He tilted his head back to look up at the sky, letting out a long breath. Hero watched it come out as a wispy puff in the cold night air. Her chest ached. This was exactly what she did not want to happen. She should just go. If she left right now, maybe they could salvage their friendship and they could pretend this conversation had never happened.

“I’m sorry. That was…” John seemed at a loss for words.

Hero remained silent, awkwardly shifting her feet. She realized she was shivering and absent-mindedly wished she’d brought a jacket to that stupid party. John must’ve realized this at the same time, because he quickly shrugged his off and stepped close to Hero, gently laying it over her shoulders.

“Oh, John, no, it’s okay.” Did he not realize how romantic this was? Friends didn’t do this.

“You’re cold. It’s fine, I don’t need it.” He was so close she could see his freckles and feel his warmth. They were so close. She could kiss him right now. It wasn’t like she’d never thought about it.

Hero smiled awkwardly, resisting the urge to bury her face in the material and inhale his familiar and comforting smell. “Thank you.”

Neither of them moved. Hero couldn’t tear her eyes from his. She wished again she knew what he was thinking. Did he like her? Did he not know what to do either?

She finally broke the silence. “Well, I should-”

“Kiss me.”

Hero stopped breathing. “I-what?”

John scratched his head awkwardly and laughed nervously, glancing away. It was horribly endearing and made Hero want to close the distance between them. “I. Um. It would help. I think. How I feel about you.”

Her eyes dropped to the ground. Hero swallowed, her mind racing as fast as her heart. This was torture. Of course she wanted to kiss John. She wanted to touch him, and make him laugh, and find out what made him moan. She wanted him. But they were friends.

“This-this is-we can’t. It would confuse things between us,” Hero managed to get out.

“They’re already confused, Hero.” John was right in front of her now, blue eyes searching her own. He hesitantly reached up to touch a lock of her hair. Hero let out a shaky breath. Damn him. She only had so much willpower.

“John,” she said quietly. “I really like you. I care about you. I don’t-”

“It might sort some things out.”

She was starting to feel a little dizzy from his proximity. For someone who said he wasn’t sure how he felt, he sure seemed to be into her. But Hero didn’t know. She didn’t know what to do. Every cell in her body was screaming for his touch, but…she knew if she kissed him, that was the end of it. She’d be a goner. Any hope she had of squashing her feelings for him would be dashed away. And then there was the question of whether their friendship would remain intact. Hero shook her head slightly.

“It’s too risky.”

John shot her a small smile. “I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered.

 _Oh, fuck it._ Hero abruptly leaned up and crashed her mouth onto John’s. He responded immediately, wrapping her in his arms. Her skin was hot, too hot. Her legs weakened as he pressed the small of her back, pulling her closer to him.

Shit, he was a good kisser. Hero had never considered that. His hands were on her face, hers were tangled in the hair at the base of his neck. She didn’t know what she expected, but kissing John was…wow. His lips were soft, and his hands on her felt amazing, and their bodies together made her head spin. This was better than anything she’d ever imagined.

Hero broke away for a moment, her breathing ragged. One look at John told her that he was just as affected as her. He was breathing hard too, his face flushed. She smiled at the sight, causing his eyes to light up.

“Wow,” was all Hero could think to say to break the silence. And all of a sudden, their eyes crinkled up and they broke out into giggles. Nervous laughter, Hero supposed.

“Yeah.” John brushed hair from Hero’s face as he leaned down and kissed her again, slowly this time. “Come back to the party.” Another kiss.

Hero was walking on air. Her worst fears had been for nothing, and that? That could very well be the best goddamn kiss in her life. She touched his jaw, delighting in the feel of his skin under her fingers. “Have you sorted it out?”

John drew back, a dazed look in his eyes. “What?”

“How you feel about me. Have you sorted it out?”

He laughed a little. “Um…I-”

Hero had to admit she was proud of herself as she disentangled herself from John and stepped back. She kept a pleasant look on her face, but the seriousness remained in her words. “Sort it out. You know where I’ll be.”

John stared at her, his eyes wide. She wasn’t sure if he was in awe or shock. Whichever it was, she was still staying strong. She wasn’t about to let his blue eyes or beautiful smile entrance her again. Hero smirked, amused at his expression, and turned to walk away before she forgot something.

“Thanks for the jacket.” Hero slipped out of it, only slightly wistful over the smell, and handed it back to John. He took it without a word.

“I’ll sort it out,” he said hoarsely, then cleared his throat. “Can I-can I kiss you again when I do?”

Hero ducked her head, her cheeks pink. She glanced at him as she turned. “Goodnight, John.”

And she left him standing there in the dark, her nerves still tingling and her heart singing melodies.

Yeah, things would probably be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment if you want me to continue this!


End file.
